If Janine Teagues has taught us anything, it's that you can have the best intentions in the world and still make things a whole lot harder for yourself.
With Abbott Elementary back for its sixth season, we're once again watching our favorite group of Philadelphia teachers navigate classroom chaos, questionable school funding, and whatever Ava Coleman has decided is a good idea this week.
And, of course, there's Janine.
Lovable, endlessly optimistic, and determined to make everything better, Janine is the queen of turning a small problem into a very ambitious project.
Sound familiar?
While Abbott Elementary isn't a show about mental health conditions like body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs), its characters have a lot to teach us about perfectionism, self-compassion, and learning when to give ourselves a break.
And for those of us navigating hair pulling, skin picking, or nail biting, those lessons can be surprisingly relevant.
Lesson #1: You Can't Fix Everything Overnight (Sorry, Janine)
In the Season 6 premiere, Janine decides her classroom needs a makeover.
But this isn't just a few new posters and some colorful bulletin boards. Janine goes full jungle.
It's classic Janine: a big idea, an even bigger commitment, and a determination to make everything absolutely perfect for her students.
Her heart is in the right place. But it raises an interesting question: When does wanting to do something well turn into expecting too much of ourselves?
For people with BFRBs, that question can feel especially familiar.
Maybe you've told yourself:
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"Starting tomorrow, I'm never pulling my hair again."
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"If I can just get through this week without picking, I'll be fine."
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"This is the last time I'm biting my nails. Seriously."
And then tomorrow comes. Or next week. And the behavior happens again.
Suddenly, what started as a hopeful goal becomes another reason to feel disappointed in yourself.
But here's the thing: BFRBs aren't simply bad habits that disappear when we try hard enough. They're complex behaviors that can involve sensory needs, emotional regulation, automatic patterns, and environmental triggers.
You can't always will them away with a fresh planner and a positive attitude.
Even Janine would have to admit that some things take more than one enthusiastic afternoon to figure out.
Lesson #2: Progress Doesn't Have to Look Perfect
One of the best things about Abbott Elementary is that its teachers rarely get everything right.
Janine's ideas don't always work. Gregory likes having a plan, but life at Abbott doesn't always cooperate. Barbara has decades of experience and still encounters new challenges.
And yet, they keep showing up.
They adjust. They learn. They try something different.
That's a much healthier way to think about managing BFRBs, too.
When you're working on reducing hair pulling (trichotillomania), skin picking (dermatillomania), or nail biting (onychophagia), it's easy to measure success by one thing: whether you engaged in the behavior.
But progress can look like so much more.
Maybe you noticed an urge before acting on it.
Maybe you recognized that you tend to pick your skin when you're stressed.
Maybe you tried a new strategy, even if it didn't work perfectly.
Or maybe you had a difficult day and chose not to beat yourself up about it.
Those moments count.
BFRB recovery isn't a test where you either get 100% or fail.
There are no extra-credit points for being cruel to yourself.
Lesson #3: Be More Barbara, Less Inner Critic
Let's talk about Barbara Howard.
Barbara is experienced, practical, and usually the person who reminds everyone else that the world isn't going to end just because something didn't go according to plan.
She's not against improvement. She just understands that experience, patience, and perspective matter.
Now imagine applying a little of that Barbara energy to your relationship with your BFRB.
Instead of:
"I can't believe I pulled again. What's wrong with me?"
Try:
"I noticed I was pulling today. What was happening around me?"
Instead of:
"I ruined all my progress."
Try:
"I've learned a lot about my patterns, and one difficult day doesn't erase that."
Instead of:
"I should be able to control this by now."
Try:
"I'm learning how to respond to something complicated, and that takes practice."
The difference might seem small, but it's important.
Shame can make it harder to approach our behaviors with curiosity. And curiosity is one of the most useful tools we have for understanding our triggers.
You don't have to love every part of your BFRB experience. You can feel frustrated, disappointed, or exhausted.
But you can also choose to treat yourself with kindness while you work through those feelings.
Barbara would probably approve.
Lesson #4: Awareness Comes Before Change
Imagine trying to improve a classroom without knowing what's happening inside it.
Are the students distracted? Is the room too hot? Is the lesson confusing? Does someone just really need a snack?
You can't choose the right solution until you understand the problem.
The same principle applies to BFRBs.
Hair pulling, skin picking, and nail biting can happen automatically, sometimes without us even realizing we're doing them.
Other times, we're very aware of what we're doing but feel a strong urge to continue.
That's why awareness is such an important first step.
Instead of focusing only on stopping the behavior, start asking questions.
When does it happen? Where are you? What are you feeling? What are your hands doing? What happened just before the urge?
Maybe you pull while watching TV. Maybe you pick while looking in the bathroom mirror. Maybe you bite your nails when you're concentrating on a difficult task.
Noticing those patterns gives you information you can actually use.
And unlike Janine's elaborate classroom decorations, building awareness doesn't require a trip to the craft store.
Lesson #5: Nobody at Abbott Does It Alone
For all the chaos at Abbott Elementary, there's one thing that keeps the school going: its people.
Janine has Barbara to offer perspective. Gregory has colleagues who challenge him to loosen up. Melissa brings practical solutions. And even Ava occasionally manages to be helpful.
They don't always agree. They definitely don't always get along.
The same can be true for people with BFRBs.
Hair pulling, skin picking, and nail biting can feel incredibly isolating, especially when the people around you don't understand why you can't "just stop."
Having someone who gets it can make a meaningful difference.
Someone who understands the frustration of discovering a new bald spot. Someone who knows how difficult it can be to resist picking at an uneven patch of skin. Someone who celebrates your progress without expecting perfection.
That's why finding community can be such a valuable part of the journey.
You don't have to figure everything out by yourself.
And you certainly don't need to have everything under control before asking for support.
The Final Bell: You're a Work in Progress, Not a Problem to Fix
At the end of the day, Abbott Elementary isn't really about perfect teachers running a perfect school.
It's about imperfect people doing their best with the tools, knowledge, and support they have.
Sometimes they succeed. Sometimes they make mistakes. Sometimes their plans fall apart in spectacularly funny ways.
But they keep learning.
And that's a lesson worth taking outside the classroom.
If you're navigating a BFRB, you don't need to set impossible goals or punish yourself for every setback.
You can want to change your behavior without treating yourself like something that needs fixing.
You can celebrate progress without demanding perfection.
And you can recognize that a difficult day doesn't undo all the work you've already done.
Your BFRB journey isn't a pass-or-fail assignment. It's an ongoing learning experience.
So take a page out of Abbott's lesson plan: show up, stay curious, ask for help, and give yourself a little grace.
Looking for support on your BFRB journey?
At HabitAware, we believe that awareness and self-compassion are important steps toward change. Our Keen smart bracelets help you recognize your patterns, while the HabitAware Collective connects you with people who understand what living with a BFRB is really like.
Because you don't have to navigate this journey alone.
