Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs) like hair pulling (trichotillomania), skin picking (dermatillomania), or nail-biting, are chronic conditions that... well, if you're reading this, you probably already know how hard to manage they are. There are many strategies to trying to take on your BFRB alone, and self-discipline and personal awareness are always essential in the healing process, but many people find that tackling these behaviors without external support is an even slower path to recovery.
Here are 8 reasons why managing a BFRB alone isn’t as effective as seeking support.
1. Your self-doubt bias.
When you’re the only one who knows about your BFRB, it’s challenging to gain an objective perspective on your progress. Community and support groups offer insights, feedback, and shared experiences from others who have faced similar struggles, providing new strategies and solutions you may not have considered. Therapists and Peer Coaches help you keep an unbiased opinion about your progress.
2. Lack of Accountability.
It's hard to convince yourself you want accountability, right? But when you're going through BFRB management, it's super helpful to have. When you manage a BFRB alone, it’s easy to fall into old patterns without realizing it. Having support from a community or a device like Keen2 provides an accountability structure, reminding you to stay on track and alerting you when you’re engaging in the behavior.
3. Limited Perspective.
When it's just you, it's easy to get wrapped up in whatever problem you immediately see. When you talk to other members of the BFRB community, therapists, or Peer Coaches, they will help you come up with strategies and insights you wouldn't have been able to think of yourself (at least, not as quickly!)
4. Missing Out on Guidance.
In a support group, you'll hear what other connections people have made in their journeys, such as therapists or coaches, who specialize in BFRBs. These experts can provide guidance and evidence-based strategies that are difficult to access when managing the behavior alone. In the BFRB Change Collective, the whole group is guided by Peer Coaches.
5. Easy Access to Motivation!
In support groups, you'll literally have a group of cheerleaders cheering you on. Same with having a therapist or a Peer Coach working with you.
6. Suggestions Galore.
If you don't talk to anyone about your BFRB, you can limit your exposure to diverse coping strategies. Community groups often share a wide range of techniques and tools that have worked for different people, broadening your own toolkit for managing urges and triggers.
7. Learn What Works for OTHERS.
Support groups are places of discussion, and that discussion can help you identify your specific triggers through listening to other people talk about themselves! There are so many shared experiences in the BFRB Community to discover. This collective knowledge makes it easier to pinpoint patterns you might not notice on your own, allowing for more effective management strategies.
8. Your BFRB WANTS you to self-isolate.
BFRBs are shame cycles. You use your BFRB to cope with discomfort or dysregulation, and then you feel ashamed for your actions. That shame causes even MORE discomfort and dysregulation, making you ever-reliant on your BFRB, and making you want to isolate. By ignoring the messages your brain might send you, that you need to wall off, you open the door to so many possibilities for connection and progress.
Your hair pulling, skin picking, or nail biting has probably left you feeling alone enough times already. It is possible to learn to manage your BFRB all by yourself, but just because something's possible, doesn't mean it's the path of least resistance. Remember that there are resources out there designed to make it easier on you.
Photo by Hannah Busing