Have you heard of "No Shave November," where men let their beards grow out for cancer research?
Well, "No Pull November" isn't a challenge we've seen in the BFRB community yet... and at Team HabitAware, we think we should keep it that way.
So, what is No Shave November? It's a whole month dedicated to letting your hair grow wild and free.
For those with trichotillomania, we might feel a rock in our stomach reading that. Hair growing wild and free is a privilege for us!
So you might have the thought... What about me? What about No Pull November?
Thirty days. No hair pulling. Just put down the tweezers, keep your hands away from your hair, and don't even worry about your BFRB!
Easy peasy. ...Except, not really.
At HabitAware, we're all about helping people with trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling) build awareness, develop healthier coping strategies, and make progress toward their goals.
But there's one goal we ask our community to rethink: being "pull-free."
Here's why.
The Problem With "Pull-Free"
On the surface, going pull-free sounds like a great goal. After all, if you're struggling with compulsive hair pulling, wouldn't the ultimate success be to never pull another hair again?
Not necessarily.
Trichotillomania is a body-focused repetitive behavior (BFRB), not a bad habit you can simply switch off with enough willpower.
Hair pulling can happen automatically, sometimes without a person even realizing they're doing it. Other times, it's a response to stress, boredom, discomfort, or an overwhelming emotion.
So when we set a goal like "I won't pull a single hair this month," we're setting ourselves up for an all-or-nothing challenge.
And here's the problem with all-or-nothing goals: the moment you pull one hair, it can feel like you've failed.
Imagine making it to November 12th without pulling, only to catch yourself pulling while watching TV.
Suddenly, your 12 days of progress feel like they don't count anymore.
You might think:
Well, I already ruined my streak.
I guess I just don't have enough self-control.
Why can't I do this?
Sound familiar?
That shame and frustration actually propels the hair pulling cycle. It makes managing trichotillomania even harder. And the truth is, those 12 days of learning, growing, and practicing new skills didn't disappear because you pulled a hair.
Progress isn't erased by a setback.
Your mental health progress isn't measured by checkmarks on a Calendar.
Here's something we wish more people understood about BFRB recovery: success isn't measured by how many consecutive days you go without pulling.
It's measured by the skills you're building along the way. It's measured by your "bounce-back rate." It's measured by how you respond to the urge. It's measure by your hard work!
And so many other things.
Here are some successes:
- Maybe you noticed your hand moving toward your scalp before you started pulling.
- Maybe you identified a new trigger.
- Maybe you tried a strategy that helped you redirect your hands.
- Maybe you pulled today, but instead of spiraling into shame, you responded with curiosity and compassion.
Those are all wins!
And unlike a pull-free streak, those skills don't reset to zero when you have a difficult day.
That's what sustainable progress looks like.
Introducing: No Shame November
Okay, so we're officially rejecting No Pull November.
But we don't want to miss out on all the fun. Everyone else gets a November challenge, so why shouldn't we?
This year, we're proposing something a little different.
Welcome to No Shame November.
Thirty days of ditching the guilt, letting go of perfection, and focusing on what actually helps people with trichotillomania move forward.
Instead of counting the days you haven't pulled, try counting the moments you've learned something about yourself.
Instead of punishing yourself for a setback, practice responding with kindness.
Instead of asking, "Did I pull today?" ask, "What did I notice today?"
Here are a few ways to participate:
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Notice without judgment. Pay attention to when, where, and why you pull. Awareness is the first step toward change.
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Celebrate the small wins. Catching yourself mid-pull is progress. Trying a new strategy is progress. Asking for support is progress.
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Get curious about your triggers. Are you stressed? Tired? Bored? Understanding your patterns can help you find strategies that work.
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Practice self-compassion. You wouldn't shame a friend for struggling with a mental health condition. You deserve that same kindness.
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Find your people. Connect with others who understand what living with a BFRB is really like. You don't have to navigate it alone.
And if you pull a hair during No Shame November?
Congratulations! You're still participating.
There's no scoreboard, no broken streak, and absolutely no requirement to start over on December 1st.
Less Pressure. More Progress.
At HabitAware, we believe that building awareness and learning effective strategies are far more valuable than chasing a perfect streak.
That's why we created Keen, our awareness-building smart bracelet, to help people recognize their hair pulling patterns and create opportunities to practice healthier responses.
That's why we offer Peer Coaching, because sometimes we need an extra hand to help pull us back on our feet.
Because you can't change what you don't notice, and you don't have to be perfect to make meaningful change.
So this November, while everyone else is busy growing their mustaches and showing off their beards, we're challenging you to grow something else:
Your awareness. Your self-compassion. Your confidence.
And maybe a little less shame along the way.
Happy No Shame November from all of us at HabitAware!
Ready to move beyond pull-free thinking? Explore HabitAware's tools and resources to help you build awareness, understand your triggers, and make progress at your own pace.
Header image by Vitaly Gariev
