This blog post is written by Peer Coach Ellen, who helps educate treatment professionals and runs HabitAware's online community. Want to chat with her? Book Peer Coaching today!
I went to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) 2026 conference wearing two hats.
In one session, I chaired a panel entitled "Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors and Treatment: The Basics" alongside HabitAware's Clinical Research Director, Hilary Weingarden, PhD; Ruth Golomb, LCPC; and Jacob Cross, MD. For an hour, we trained roughly 40 therapists and psychiatrists on how to identify BFRBs, treat them, and talk to clients without layering on shame.
What I learned is that facts inform, but stories make the difference. I was nervous standing in front of a room full of clinicians, about to share my most vulnerable BFRB truths out loud. But that nervousness was the point. The facts teach them what a BFRB is. A real person telling her BFRB story shows them what it costs.
So I shared mine.
Getting caught with bald spots. Being called disgusting in college. The therapist who looked at me and said, "Can't you just put Band-Aids on your fingers and be done with it?"
And then, finally, finding my awareness, which opened the door to understanding the need my BFRB was serving. And, learning how to meet that need in a healthier way.
I watched those 40 therapists take it in. I saw the empathy on their faces and the wheels turning as they considered how they could now serve their clients. It was that moment that I knew exactly why I was there.
Then I walked out of that room and spent the rest of the conference as a learner. Notebook out, pen in hand. One concept kept finding me across sessions, no matter the topic. I couldn't stop thinking about how much it applies to BFRBs.
Savoring.
It comes from the field of positive psychology. And before you picture affirmations in the mirror, let me stop you. Positive psychology is an evidence-based research field, and savoring is one of the skills therapists use in treatment for OCD, depression, and anxiety.
Here is why it matters.
Good moments do not stick on their own. You know what I'm talking about. Imagine your boss, teacher, or partner shares nineteen things you did right and one criticism. Guess which one you're still thinking about at midnight. That is called the Negativity Bias, and it is how humans are wired.
Positive experiences slide off unless you actively hold them. Savoring the moments when things go right, especially the quiet ones we tend not to see, is a learned skill.
Here is why this matters for BFRBs. We notice every failure. Every pull, pick, bite. Every slip. Every time we don't succeed.
But what about the quiet moments of success? Keen2 vibrates, you put down your hand and do not engage. We move on immediately. That quiet win disappears before the brain even files it.
Savoring is how you change that.
Here’s how to practice:
Keen2 vibrates. You pause and move your hand away. Maybe you grab something in the moment, or maybe you simply put your hand down.
After the pause, notice the win. Revisit it for 5 to 10 seconds. Let that feeling sink in and stick.
Here’s my real-life example: I was transitioning from one activity to another. One task done. Hand up to scan as I was thinking about what’s next, and Keen2 vibrated. Instead of just moving on, I savored that moment by reliving the feeling of my hand going down and silently thanking Keen2 for having my back.
I soaked in the quiet success. That is savoring; it cost me 5 seconds, and it gave my brain a chance to learn from the successful moment, instead of rushing past it.
I kept coming back to savoring because it is so counterintuitive for us. We are trained to scan for what went wrong. Savoring asks us to do the opposite. To treat a quiet win like it deserves to stay. Because it does.
Another theme kept surfacing in the sessions. Uncertainty.
It came up almost everywhere. And for us, that is not an abstract concept. Uncertainty is a trigger. It is a feeling that sends the hand up. The not-knowing that the BFRB is trying to solve.
The sessions focused on moving uncertainty from something threatening to something you lean into. The message: allowing the uncertainty isn't the same as suffering through it. It just means not reaching for relief the moment it shows up.
Sitting with uncertainty is a practice, too. And it pairs with savoring in a way that makes sense. Savoring builds evidence that good moments exist. Learning to sit with uncertainty builds evidence that hard moments pass, and you can handle them.
When the urge hits, try this: This feeling is temporary. I don't like it, and I can handle it.’ That is a completely different relationship with the moment you are in, and one you can practice.
I walked into ADAA as a teacher and walked out as a student. These are the tools I brought home for you.
