Stephanie is 24 years old and lives in Virginia. She’s had Trichotillomania for 3 years but recently realized she likely had a BFRB for much longer. In her own words, Stephanie shares how she is Conquering with Keen Awareness.
From Skin Picking to Hair Pulling
I have Trichotillomania, but I recently realized that my journey with Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs) started with Dermatillomania. I used to pick my skin. Every time I had even the smallest blackhead, I would spend hours in front of the mirror picking at my skin. But after I found treatment for my skin, I was no longer a skin picker. Instead, I became a hair puller.
At first I would only pull my hair at home so I was not too concerned. Then, it became worse. I was pulling my hair in public and while I was in class, and I could not just stop. It was not that simple. It got to the point where I would have to shave underneath my hair because I had bald spots. When I went to the hairdresser to get a trim, it was embarrassing to explain why my hair underneath was either gone or a million different lengths from pulling it out.
“I felt ashamed of myself for not being able to ‘just stop’”
I started nursing school and we were told that we had to keep our hair up. I was embarrassed because I knew people would then see the bald spots and the habit I had been trying to hide. I wanted to wear my hair up in cute styles even outside of school and clinicals, but it was embarrassing. I felt isolated from my peers because I thought everyone could see it and was talking about me. I did not want to go out in public and I felt ashamed of myself for not being able to “just stop” pulling my hair out. My mother was concerned and kept telling me to just stop and I told her numerous times that it was not that simple, but I knew she did not understand.
My life practically revolved around my hair pulling. If I was sitting in my car at a stoplight and pulling, I would wait until I had the hair in my hand before I allowed the vehicle to move through the green light with people behind me, beeping their horns. I did not tell many people. I was alone.
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Searching for a Trichotillomania Solution
I decided to look for a Trichotillomania solution after discussing options with my psychologist. She told me to put a rubber band on my wrist and snap it when I felt like pulling. When that did not work she told me to hold a piece of ice in my hand so it would somehow turn off the urge in my brain to pull because my hand would become wet, cold, and even a little numb. I was also told to keep telling myself “hair belongs on my head,” but nothing worked.
I wanted to be a normal young woman who could put my hair up and enjoy different hairstyles, but I couldn’t. I had bald spots underneath my hair. When these options did not work, I turned to my psychiatrist who I was already seeing for anxiety, ADHD, and OCD disorders. She put me on different medications that are used for OCD, but none of them worked.
“I wanted to be a normal young woman who could put my hair up and enjoy different hairstyles”
The final straw came when she handed me a prescription for Naloxone, which is the generic name for Narcan – the opioid antidote drug. I could not believe it. I did not have a drug problem nor had I ever had a drug problem. So that evening instead of filling the prescription, I started to search online. I typed in “Trichotillomania” and went from there. Suddenly, HabitAware appeared after I searched for “Help with hair pulling.”
Overcoming Trichotillomania with a Habit Tracking Bracelet
I went to the HabitAware website on my laptop and it has since changed my life. It was a non-pharmacological measure, and if it did not work, they offered a 90-day money back guarantee. I had nothing to lose. I asked for my HabitAware Keen bracelet for Christmas and it was the best gift I received. I downloaded the app on my phone and I set up Keen. It was super simple and easy to do!
I wear my bracelet every day and no one questions it because it looks like a fitness bracelet. I love the way the bracelet looks and the fact that I am the only one who feels the vibration to know when it is alerting me. They say it takes 21 days to correct a bad habit. I have been wearing it longer than that and my hair is finally starting to grow. I may even be ready to wear my hair up this summer!
“Keen has completely changed my life”
Keen has completely changed my life physically, mentally, and emotionally. I no longer pull out my hair. I may always have the tendencies to pick and pull my hair out, but Keen reminds me to put my hand down. I am no longer looking over my shoulder thinking someone is talking badly about me. I live in peace now. I am no longer embarrassed or self-conscious about putting my hair into a ponytail, or trying to hide my bad habit. My life is crazier than ever with graduation in just a few months, but with Keen I am calmer and less anxious.
I have already recommended Keen to others. My psychiatry office is learning more about Keen. I have recommended it to coworkers, friends, and other family members. When they see how much my hair has grown underneath, they are in complete shock to see how much a bracelet has impacted my life. I am truly thankful for Keen!
And we’re thankful for you, too, Stephanie! Thank you for sharing your story and giving strength to our community!
< See how others are taking control of nail biting, skin picking and hair pulling: Reviews from the Keen Family >
