Reflections from the First-Ever Great BFRB Get-Together

Reflections from the First-Ever Great BFRB Get-Together

Dear BFRB Family,

As we closed out The Great BFRB Get Together on September 28th, Ellen and I found ourselves reflecting on what we learned together over the two days. Here’s what resonated most, and what’s next. 

Four Themes That Emerged
 

1. Your pain is your purpose.

I've (Aneela) been living with BFRBs since I was about 10. For most of my life, my instinct at every challenge was to run; from the BFRB, from loss, from heartbreak.

It took this journey with HabitAware to realize those experiences weren't meant to be escaped. They were meant to be faced and transformed. When I received my breast cancer diagnosis in 2022, I made a conscious choice: "What are you here to do FOR me, not TO me?"

This theme emerged throughout the conference in Dahlya's story, Jason's journey, Bianca's, Lauren's, Claire's, Jude's, and Bridget's experiences. Each person stopped asking, "What are these hardships doing to me?" and started asking, "What can they teach me?"

 

2. The Power of Mindset

If you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. This theme emerged consistently across all presentations over the two days.
 
To allow healing to occur, it starts with openness and a growth mindset. The shift from asking "Am I broken? Is my brain broken?" to understanding that BFRBs are signals rather than failures. That is transformative.
 
This doesn't mean adopting rose-colored glasses where everything is just positive thinking. It means being curious instead of criticizing ourselves. It means learning from what works versus what doesn't. It means using productive language and taking actions toward what we actually can do. When we open the door to this kind of mindset shift, everything changes.

3. Healing Happens Together

Imagine you're on a volleyball court. The ball comes to you. You bend your knees, get into position, and smack that ball, and it goes right into the net, and you lose the point. Your team gathers around: "It's okay. We've got you. It happens. We’ve got you. Get your head back in the game."

That's what we do in the HabitAware Collective. We have each other. But we also show up for practice and learn the skills and drills. As Dr. Renardi emphasized, it's all about practice.

One lesson I've learned: keep doing what's working. The first Keen prototype was a yellow slap bracelet that worked so well I stopped using it, then came the relapse. As Dr. Diebler said, chronic is not a four-letter word. It means learning the lifestyle strategies to manage it.

You can check off attending a conference or reading a book, but managing your BFRB? That's an ongoing practice. And if 80% of the time we feel 80% good, that's a meaningful success.

4. Keep Doing What Works


You don't check off "be happy" from your to-do list, it's not a one and done! Instead, you try to sprinkle things in your schedule to cultivate happiness. The same goes for body-focused repetitive behaviors. To keep ourselves happy and healthy, we have to keep doing what makes ourselves healthy and happy!
 
It's why I don't just take my multivitamins once and call myself healthy. It's why I try to go to the gym regularly, and it's why I keep my therapist on my calendar instead of having to reach out to her when I've let too many routines slip. I'd rather be preventative!
 
So, what works for you. Routine? Accountability? Support?

Join us and find what works for you in the RISE Challenge!

The RISE Challenge is happening now in the HabitAware Collective!
  • Reduce behavior & shame
  • Increase awareness & confidence
  • Support each other
  • Encourage joy

What's Included:
  • Group meetings twice weekly (Mondays and Thursdays)
  • Daily community support 
  • Resource hub with recovery starter course and a masterclass
  • Monthly themes and weekly actions
First two weeks are FREE. JOIN NOW!
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