GUEST POST: How to Give Yourself Grace on the Journey to Recovery

GUEST POST: How to Give Yourself Grace on the Journey to Recovery

June 05, 2019

By: Amanda Turner

On the journey to recovery, it’s often difficult to keep the past from getting in the way. Whether it’s an addiction to alcohol, gambling, or trichotillomania, we tend to ruminate on our past bad habits with shame, regret, and embarrassment. If we’re ever to begin the journey toward better habits, we cannot let the past be our prison.

We must be gracious with ourselves, despite our mistakes, just as we would show unconditional love to someone we care about.

Here are five things that I believe are the basic components of effectively giving yourself grace on your journey to recover and better lifelong habits.

Authenticity

Authenticity means not only knowing who you truly are but also being true to the beliefs and values you hold dear through your actions. Living a double life is exhausting. Anyone with an addictive or compulsive habit understands exactly what I mean as we live in constant hiding  - with wigs, makeup and fake smiles - of our true selves.

Write down your five most important values on five different notecards. These values should be the ones dear to your heart, not your head. Think about things like courage, passion, and creativity. Put the small notes in a bowl and draw one every morning. This allows you to set the intention to carry that value in everything you do that day and find ways to apply it throughout the day's various tasks.

This mindful practice of values can, in time, make these values permanent to your character and personality.

Quietude

Negative feelings don’t dissipate until we learn to sit in silence long enough to lean into them and let them pass. One way to do this is to set aside 15 to 30 minutes each day to be completely alone, well away from distractions, to engage in personal reflection. Breathe negative feelings in, then out. Let yourself cry if you need to.

Then, when your quiet time is up, you may be surprised at how easy it is to move on with self-forgiveness. Be mindful of your home environment and triggers if you’re having trouble finding your center. As an example, it maybe that a noisy HVAC system is triggering your distractedness, or a harmful behavior. In this case, consider getting a home repair plan so that you have someone to call for any necessary repairs.

Connection

This component will be short and sweet: You can’t do this alone and you weren’t designed to. Research has shown that desiring a sense of belonging and connection is a primal instinct. Find support groups and other programs to help guide you, or simply make it a point to spend quality time with family and friends. You deserve the social connection and they deserve your gracious company.

Gratitude

As rough as your journey may have been so far, remember to be grateful for your story and the lessons you’ve learned. Don’t have a pity party about your compulsion or addiction like it’s a curse. Be thankful that you’ve made it so far as to be willing to change. Be thankful for your progress. Every day - whether while having your coffee on the porch or right before you lay your head on the pillow - write down three things for which you are grateful. Don’t repeat items (not even once). These items can be as specific as a new shirt you bought that day or as broad as your willingness to be grateful.

Appreciation

In our eagerness to achieve goals on our journey to release bad habits, we often forget to revel in small accomplishments. As you set realistic goals and reach them, reward yourself in some way, even if it’s simply soaking in a hot bath with a good book. Make a conscious effort to give an outward appreciation for an inward desire to change.

Your past doesn’t have to define you, your present is a blessing, and your future is as gracious as you make it.

May the grace be with you.


About The Author

Amanda-Turner-Writer-Guest-Blogger Amanda Turner is a freelance writer and recent graduate who is exploring her passion through writing.  


About Keen by HabitAware
HabitAware makes Keen, a smart bracelet that helps manage nail biting, hair pulling, thumb sucking, and other subconscious behaviors. Customized gesture detection brings you into awareness and helps you develop healthier habits.
Order now & sign up for our e-newsletter for helpful strategies, news & important product updates:
ORDER NOW          SUBSCRIBE


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in HabitAware Blog: Soul Fuel

Conquering with Keen: Elizabeth's Trichotillomania Recovery Story
Conquering with Keen: Elizabeth's Trichotillomania Recovery Story

May 28, 2019

Conquering with Keen: Elizabeth's Trichotillomania Recovery Story

Elizabeth is a 21-year-old from Rhode Island, attending school in upstate New York. She’s struggled with Trichotillomania since age 12. This is how she is "Conquering with Keen Awareness." Elizabeth shares that the Keen bracelet "allowed me to retrain my brain to stop pulling out my hair."

Read More

3 Steps to Building a Growth Mindset and Taking Control of Trichotillomania, Dermatillomania and other BFRBs
3 Steps to Building a Growth Mindset and Taking Control of Trichotillomania, Dermatillomania and other BFRBs

May 14, 2019

Read More

Conquering with Keen: How Erin Tamed the
Conquering with Keen: How Erin Tamed the "Trich Monster"

March 27, 2019

Erin, a former “Married at First Sight” reality TV star, is 28 years old and lives in Australia.  This is how she’s Conquering with Keen Awareness in her own words.  I started pulling my hair out at age 15. I didn’t realise hair pulling was how I coped with anxiety until I was 28. That’s THIRTEEN years later!! My Trichotillomania affected me every day. Hair pulling was something damaging that I knew would make me unhappy, but I felt so much better when I did it. It was a very vicious cycle.

Read More

Sizing Guide

Not sure which size is right for you?

It's important that Keen fits snugly. Here's a quick guide to help you decide which bracelet size to order:

(images not to scale)

Ready for "Keen" Awareness?

Our 3-min email shares 1 actionable tip weekly to help you manage your hair pulling, nail biting or skin picking & CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.